Embrace
by Eloria Castiel
Summary: The rockstar Raphael is still on going to his career. One time, his band bumped into a newbie band, only to learn that the person he bumped on is his dead partner... Or supposed to be. [Band AU, Tcest]
1. Always With Me, Always With You

**Note/Warning: Tcest (RxD, LxM], Rock band stuff, OOC-ness, tragic stuff, mature stuff, music will vary on degrees**  
With references to the Zelda fanfic, "Always with Me, Always with You" (Link of Prototype)

Inspired from AmorTortuga's Time To Pretend fanfic in DA!

* * *

He stared at the vast, dark sky as intense riffs are crying from his guitar. He loved this song whenever he played it for him. He can still remember when he first saw him, his eyes reflecting so much admiration and just enjoying the music he played. It was a tribute song for his favorite guitarist. If they were a one sappy couple, this will be their song. It's perfect, it has no lyrics but the melody really brings out the whole song. He swept through the frets, moving his fingers fast like its dancing. It returned to normal pace when the high notes are done. He should be smoking now while sitting on his veranda. He should be drinking beer and be wasted. But he didn't have the guts to touch that narcotic stick nor that alcoholic drink.

Many guitarists loved this song. His co-guitarist Link of Prototype dedicated this to his brother who died while he dedicated this to his lover.

* * *

The high pitched noise disturbed his slumber. He turned around to cover his ears with his pillow but no avail. He grumpily picked his cellphone and just grunted when he answered.

"Raph, where are you?! We're supposed to meet Mikey fifteen minutes ago!" he distanced the phone a little, it's so obvious his vocalist is irate.

"Hmph… I'm coming… Geez…" Raph grunted once more as he rolled off to the edge of his bed and pulled all of his strength to get up.

"Come on, Raph! We are supposed to settle Mikey's new band as the front act for our gig!"

"Then, they should be the one waiting. They're the ones who needed the slot." Raph said as he is still half asleep, trying to get some jeans and shirt.

"One! This is official business." Leo continued to ramble as Raph just rolled his eyes, put it on loud speak and tossed the cellphone to the couch for him to be able to put clothes on.

"Two! This is Mikey, at least I convinced him to create a band of his own because he remembered-"

"Yeah, I know." Raph cut him off. He remembered it as well, so much it stuck on his heard and it always left him in pain. "Well, whatever. Tell Mikey I'll be there twenty minutes tops." He grumbled as he knew Leo will not be happy about it. The vocalist is really not amused. The lead guitarist just shut his phone and rode off with his red motorcycle.

* * *

It is weird for a rock star to be landed in an old library. The roaring engine stopped, he brought up an item that really brightened up to his dark clothes and went inside.

"Good morning, Raphael." The librarian greeted. The visitor just nodded as he proceeded to the study table he always goes. This girl knew what happened and gave him the liberty for that spot and this specific time in the library. She always added an hour before the opening time so he will have the privacy. She is the only one who can hear his broken state.

He stopped at a chair. It was near the section of science and technology. He can see the previous flowers and gifts are gone. He knew the librarian, who's named Irma, cleaned it up as she said she keeps it in a box that he can retrieve it if he wanted to.

This is the only thing he can do, that damn guardian didn't even give any freaking address! He tried asking nearby cemeteries but they had no records! So, he decided he'll make this one his visiting place.

This was his favorite past time to go. For Raph, it was purely boredom, to him, its paradise.

* * *

"Morning." He smiled as he placed the bright lavenders to his chair. "Fresh flowers for my favorite nerd." He said as he sat down beside it. "Here, I brought you a book. I know this is your favorite subject." He pushed the blue book to the area beside the flowers. The title had connection to Acoustic Technology.

"Sorry, I won't be long. Leo needed me since Mikey formed a new band after these months. Seemed he found a bassist that he can get along. He missed you, you know." He looked down. "I missed you." He whispered. He never said any affections to him before, it's his biggest mistake he ever did. "I knew you heard this so many times but if there is a second chance…" he sighed deeply. "I'll make you the happiest nerd ever."

* * *

The same roaring engine alerted Leo, who is relief he finally arrived. "Where the shell have you been?!" Leo said as Raph removed his helmet.

"Some place." He answered as he gets off his bike. The vocalist knew what he meant by that. In the whole band, they had a bond like brothers, even though they bicker like there is no tomorrow. Leo will not deny majority is really his fault but he didn't deserve this much suffering. Raph knew that his atonement is never going to bring him back.

* * *

"So, where is the goof ball?" he asked as they walked, his arms stretched above his head.

"They said they are on their way." Leo answered.

"See? I told you he is late as I am. I know the Mikester's brain…" Raph smirked. "… Sort of."

"I told him to stay put because you're not here yet!" Leo's voice rose up.

"You should have sent them in the place earlier and meet there!" he spat back.

"They just came from Mikey's. We are supposed to meet at the restaurant because it's close in the studio!"

"You really are so bad in meeting places every time- Oof!"

He bumped into someone as they turn in the corner. He is able to balance himself meanwhile the other person stumbled on the ground.

"Hey, watch it!" he looked at the fallen person.

"Ouch…"

His eyes widened in horror. His heart started to beat fast. Is he dreaming? He is definitely dreaming.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Ow…"

He talked. That soft voice. Those calm eyes. Raph started to sweat and just plain speechless.

"Donnie! Are you alright?" he heard Mikey's worried voice but he is still immobile. "Uhh… Yeah…" he stood up. "I'm sorry, Sir…" he apologized but he started to get confused when those green eyes just stared at him. "Sir?"

* * *

That name. Donnie.

The same name and face of his deceased lover two years ago.

* * *

Guys, welcome to my Embrace remake! This came from my old original story which was emo-ish, full of anger and revenge. But this show my love to rock music, dancing and stuff. I followed the original format in the past fandoms but it's left unfinished. This one, I revised the story and actually finished the plot. I decided to write this because I still hold up to my dream of rocking out there. There is a reason why this is titled Embrace, beside the fact this is an album name of one of my favorite bands.

All the rock songs featured in the chapters are my favorites.

I always wanted to see Raph rocking off and playing those riffs! XD


	2. Agent Orange

Note/Warning: Tcest (RxD, LxM], Rock band stuff, OOC-ness, tragic stuff, mature stuff, music will vary on degrees

Inspired from AmorTortuga's Time To Pretend fanfic in DA! 

* * *

God exists 360 degrees  
Like unsolved mysteries your mind's tortured by demonic beast  
It's so fatal no instrumental they hit your central nervous system  
You die without a funeral for real  
My eyes still exist with a terror  
Living without the guide of my father  
Everyday is like a war we're going through  
Agent orange man yo is coming after you

-"Agent Orange", Slapshock

* * *

"Uhh… Raph?" Mikey asked. The lead guitarist snapped back to reality. He kept rubbing his eyes if the one he isn't supposed to see is really real.

And he is.

What surprised him is Mikey just seeing this as normal. Well, he knew Mikey is a "different" normal but still! He just yanked Leo and Mikey for privacy.

"Just stay there! Will took five minutes!" Mikey shouted as the stumbled man earlier gave thumbs up.

* * *

"WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. MIKEY!" Raph shouted. "How the shell you're not surprised either, Leo?!"

"I'm surprised as you are, Raph!" Leo said.

"Am I seeing a person I'm not supposed to see or I'm just crazy-"

"That's Donnie." Mikey answered.

"I know he's Donnie! But why is he-"

"Alive? I had no idea either! He just showed up with a flyer that I posted and he wanted the bassist part!"

"It's just… What…" Raph said as he leaned on the concrete wall with hands on his face.

"You okay, Raph?" Leo asked. "I can't believe it, too! That he is alive all these years!" he said and he sneered. "Now, I know the reason why you wanted to form a band." He looked at Mikey.

"No, I was so shocked when he showed up. I just hugged him when I learned he is living in full color!" Mikey said.

They just stared at the shocked Raph.

"I ain't buying it!" he shouted. "I'm outta here!" he said and turned around.

* * *

"Isn't this the second chance you've been wanting for a long time?!"

* * *

This made Raph stopped and looked at Leo.

"He's here, breathing, and you're being a jerk again!" Leo said.

"I'm not!" he spat back.

"Then, let's set up this front act gig so you have that chance!" Leo shouted.

"Guys, calm down. All I can say is, let's just give what Donnie deserved, okay? Not because of the past." Mikey said. Raphael just sighed and grunted, crossing his arms. But they knew he is very confused.

* * *

"Sorry for the wait." Mikey said. The new members just smiled and went on ahead to the restaurant.

While walking, April, Leo and Mikey distanced a little to talk about a private matter. They remained silent when they returned back to the group. Mikey noticed the awkwardness and the silence and took the liberty to introduce them.

"Okay, guys! So, this is Timothy, the drummer." Mikey said.

"I thought you're the drummer?" Leo said.

"Plans changed." Mikey giggled. "And I wanted to try something else, to show that I have a better voice than a certain someone." Mikey sneered.

"Oh, really, huh?" Leo smirked.

"This is April, the lead guitarist." Mikey pointed to the orange haired girl. April just waved. For some reason, Raph felt she glared at him. "And finally, this is Donnie, the bassist." Mikey finished, as the bassist just waved his hand sheepishly.

It made Raph remembered, it's the same thing Donnie did when they first met.

"Guys, this is Leo, the vocalist of Octavarium." Leo just smiled and greeted them. "And Raph, the lead guitarist." They are waiting for Raph to respond, only to learn he is staring at the bassist.

"Raph? Raph!"

"H-huh? Oh, yeah. 'Sup." He said as he looked away. He can't still get over the fact he is beside him right now. Donnie. The one he hurt and now wanting to love for so long.

"And so, we named the band "Agent Orange"!" Mikey exclaimed.

"You know that's a little-" Leo said.

"I tried explaining to him that Agent Orange is a chemical-" Donnie said but got cut off by Mikey's squeal.

"But the name is so cool! I heard it in a song! It's like when I made our band cry "Booyakasha!"" Mikey exclaimed with full burst of energy. "I suggested before that Leo's band should be Agent Blue but they wanted Octavarium instead." He grunted.

"Like I said Mikey, Agent Blue is a highly acidic chemical-" Donnie tried to explain but got cut off. "Wait, how did you know about these things?"

"… I don't know? It's a pretty cool name." Mikey said.

"Well, we can't resist him crying and stuff so we had no choice but to agree." April sighed to Leo. "But we do agree it's a catchy name." The new band laughed after.

* * *

They arrived at the restaurant.

"Okay, what do you guys want? My treat." Leo said.

"L-Leo!" Mikey said as he waving his hands. "I'll take care of it! Just…"

"Its okay, Mikey… This is a new day for your new band after all…" He took a quick glance at Raph still staring at the purple bassist, who is reading a book. "… We have new friends."

Mikey just smiled and nodded.

"Okay… So what do you guys want?"

"Quarter pounder burger!" Timothy said while playing his PSP.

"I'll have chicken burger." April said.

"Pizza!" Mikey exclaimed. Leo chuckled. "What about you, Raph?"

"H-huh? Just some big burger and fries." He said.

"Don?"

Donnie covered his book for a second.

"Cheeseburger with fries, please." He replied before opening his book again and continued to read. Raph snorted and smiled. ("Nerd as ever.")

Leo proceeded to the counter. "We'll just take it out and eat at the studio. We have set up to do." Then new band just nodded.

Mikey noticed Raph is obviously staring at the oblivious Donnie. He knew it's still a shock. He knew he wanted to talk to him.

But it seemed the vice versa is stronger.

* * *

"Come on, Donnie. I know you wanted to talk to him." Timothy whispered.

Donnie just flushed and nudged him away.

* * *

Apparently, Leo had finished making the order. "You better go ahead, guys. I'll wait for the order."

"No, Mr. Leo, if you may, Mr. Raph and I will take care of it. You go ahead and unload the things." April said as Raph looked at her.

"You sure?" Leo asked.

"Yeah! Besides, Mr. Raph will help me." She said as the others left. The red lead guitarist just leaned on the glass wall beside the counter as April is seated on the table.

* * *

"I know you know me, Raph." She said. His eyes stared at hers. He knew this is not a happy reunion.

"April O'Neil… His best friend." He said.

"… And guardian." She continued.

His eyes widened and flashed with mix of confusion and anger. He slammed his hands on the table and gave the deadliest stare at her.

"YOU! You're the one who didn't-"  
"Donnie is very frightened at that point. So I had to bring him away from here as much as possible until he is ready. I was his guardian way before you met him."

"So what? You lied to his friends that he is alive after all!" his apple green eyes had hurt all over as he wanted answers after all these years.

"What in the words 'Very frightened' and 'As much as possible' did you not understand? You better thank Donnie he wanted to be a bassist again so he went back here. It's preferable that he will have a fresh, clean start than to meet his friends and had the potential to make his life worse. I can understand giving information to Leo and Mikey. But it's for the best I didn't. On the other hand, to you… You didn't deserve it."

"You didn't know what I had gone through these years! I searched everywhere for him!" he yelled, causing a commotion to the other customers. When he is aware, he breathed deeply to calm himself and caused silence for minutes.

* * *

"He had amnesia."

A revelation came forth as Raph just stared in disbelief, like cold water was splashed to him. No wonder Donnie is not angry at him or talking to him or even notice him! It all makes sense for now.

"I already told Leo and Mikey in advance when we were walking earlier, seemed you are too surprised to notice." She said while looking at the window. "But I had to tell it personally to you… Of how you changed his life. But I had to thank for it, as there is a chance he will never remember anything. For two years, no triggers are showed, even after he went here and saw his old friends. He really wanted to join Mikey's band, which is a signal to come out of hiding." April explained.

The lead guitarist is still speechless. He never expected Donnie alive all these years but he didn't expect his memory loss either! Is this the chance he'd been wanting?

"Just FYI, he is aware of his memory loss. He said he prefer to move on…"

All in all, this is an advantage. It's a completely new start between Donnie and him.

"But he is a little curious to his past." She said. "I know what you're thinking. This is a good thing… But I wonder what he will think of you when he learned about it."

He did have second thoughts despite the advantage by what she said. April revealing she is a guardian took up a notch.

"Just please, continue being a douche to Donnie… Like before." April said as she went ahead and took the bags with the food. "Make Donnie hurt… And I'll make you swallow your guitar."

* * *

I decided to name Mikey's band Agent Orange because you know the Name Master, it has connotation to Mikey himself. I read the article of the actual meaning of Agent Orange. And yes, it's what Donnie trying to explain what Agent Orange and Agent Blue actually means.

Octavarium is a 24 minute song from the band Dream Theater (I always play this whenever I took a bath or sleep in the bus and I'm done and it's still playing!)

My waifuu had a girl crush on April, especially the way I made her in this AU. And yes, she had a little crush on Donnie! 8D Two lead guitarists fighting over to the purple bassist!


	3. Come Together

**Note/Warning: Tcest (RxD, LxM], Rock band stuff, OOC-ness, bad language, tragic stuff, mature stuff, music will vary on degrees**

Inspired from AmorTortuga's Time To Pretend fanfic in DA!

* * *

The two arrived with bags of food in the studio. They placed it in the table and segregate it according to the orders. Luckily, Raph had the cheeseburger with fries. He saw Donnie trying to set up his guitar.

Here he goes, all or nothing.

* * *

"Here." A low voice said. Donnie just turned around and saw Raph holding a bag with his food inside.

"Oh, thank you." He smiled as he took it and placed beside him. He continued to work on his bass. Raph knew this habit, even though he didn't give a fuck before. He always forgets eating. Even after 2 years, he never changed. April started to have concern. Raph can handle this.

"You should eat you know." Raph said. The bassist just stared and blinked at him.

"I'll eat when this is finished." He smiled again and continued working.

"Well, mind if I join you eating and help you work that out?" he offered.

The bassist just stared at him and started to blush furiously.

"Y-You don't need to… I-I can handle this." Donnie replied.

Whoa, Donnie just blushed at him. He is supposed to be angry like "What's gotten into you?" or similar like that, even if he had memory loss. But this?! Blushing?! Then again, it's going smoothly. He doesn't have to be an asshole to Donnie like before. Like April said, a clean start.

This might be the second chance he always wished for.

"If you don't want to eat, it's okay. I'll just watch you." Raph said while sitting down. Wow, that sounded idiotic, creepy and desperate.

The bassist just squeaked.

* * *

_It was one of the days when Donnie is doing some contraption. Raph just came home with takeouts. Inside his house, he saw a woman, forcing Donnie to eat._

"_Raphie!" The purple clad turtle greeted._

"_Who is she?!" He pointed the woman, who just stared at him._

"_She's my best friend, April. April, this is Raph, my boyfriend and the lead guitarist of the band I talked to you about."_

_Awkward silence happened._

"_Mr. Raphael, can we talk privately?"_

"_Look sissy, I've been feeding Don, alright?!"_

"_At least check is he IS eating. He tends to skip meals when he's focused on something."_

"_Ain't my fault. All he had to do is to get food and put it in his mouth."_

"_You're his boyfriend! You should make sure he's well!"_

"_Yeah, I'm his boyfriend! Not a caretaker!"_

_It continued causing Donnie to collapse in hunger. Raph knew it was his negligence or lack of care that caused him much exhaustion during their relationship. He should be the one to know Don well, as he was his partner._

* * *

Now that he thinks about it, April does have a point and it makes more sense as she is his guardian besides being his best friend. She had the right to intervene that time.

"I think a break will make me think straight." Donnie said as he opened the bag and took out the cheeseburger.

Raph just smiled as he eats his burger along with him.

("Seriously, Donnie. You got to stop blushing… You're too… Adorable…")

"It feels weird eating beside the famous Raphael." He said sheepishly.

Raph just stared at his burger. He said that before, on their first date.

* * *

"_It feels weird eating beside the famous Raphael." Donnie giggled as they opened the menu booklet._

"_Yeah, whatever. What do you want?" Raph said with no motivation._

* * *

"Don't feel nervous. I'm just an ordinary guitarist playing." Raph smiled. Leo and Mikey witnessed this and even got surprised. Raph didn't smile like that for a long time.

"I'm a big fan of your band and…"

* * *

"_I'm a big fan of your band, Raph!" said of an enthusiastic Donatello. Raph looked at him up and down. Raph showed a face of disgust. He is so not a rock and roller. Seriously, loose sweater pants and shirt?!_

* * *

He blinked his eyes. What are those all of a sudden? Memories from the past that are coming back for a taste of karma?

"Oh, sorry." He mumbled as he noticed Donnie showed concern why he is quiet.

"You sure?"

Raph nodded. He helped Donnie to set his bass. "And thanks a lot."

Donnie looked at him quickly.

* * *

"All set!" Mikey said as the new band is excited. They will show their performance as the front act of Leo's band. The vocalist and lead guitarist sat down in front of them to watch them play.

"Why won't we let them do a sample first?" Timothy exclaimed. "You know, to pump us up!" The new band cheered and agreed.

The blue vocalist refused but Mikey's pleading eyes convinced him. Leo just sighed and took the microphone. "Alright, I'll sing. Let's go, Raph."

"I didn't bring my guitar." He said.

"I'll lend mine." April said as she took off her Les Paul guitar. "Here." Raph is impressed at her guitar. This guitar is a fine choice. He also wondered why April's mood shifted suddenly.

He just grasped her guitar and stood beside Leo. The band Agent Orange sat in front of them.

"So, what song you wanted?" Leo asked at Raph, as he caught Raph staring at Donnie again.

"Any song." He quickly looked away when all the attention came to him.

"Well, Donnie… What song do you want to play?" Leo asked which caused the bassist to squeak again.

"Uhm… Can… Can you play "Come Together"?" He shyly asked.

"Well… We know this awesome cover of it." Leo nodded as Raph just strum the famous lead in the guitar. Raph is a little impressed Donnie knew this song. He's sure he will enjoy this cover version they heard years ago.

* * *

Here come old flat top

He come groovin' up slowly

He got joo joo eyeballs

He one holy rollers

He got hair down to his knee

Got to be a joker

He just do what he please

The new band, even Mikey, is surprised how the two of them can lift the whole song without a drummer and a bassist.

He say I know you, you know me

One thing I can tell you is

You got to be free

Come together, right now

Over me

* * *

He sees Donnie smiling and admiring his playing, like before. He still remembered the eyes that shined with adoration. Well, Raph better focus if he wanted Don to get impressed and happy, like what he vowed to now.

* * *

He bad production

He got walrus gumboot

He got Ono sideboard

He one spinal cracker

* * *

Mikey always loved Leo's voice. He really had a unique voice that can reach high and low notes. It's the first asset of him that he got high in heels for him. They were childhood friends and he always knew that Leo will be a talented singer. Yes, even when making out, his voice is pure heaven.

* * *

He say one and one and one is three

Got to be good looking

Cause he's so hard to see

Come together right now

Over me

* * *

Raph just realized he never felt this… Light in playing the guitar. It's the same feeling when he first played the said instrument.

They all chanted "Come Together". It's like they are jamming in the camp fire, watching under the stars, like the old days.

When Leo sang the final note and Raph strummed with power, the band cheered and clapped. Mikey went to Leo's arms, squealing. Raph is delighted that it pleased Donnie fully.

* * *

"It's your turn." Leo said.

"Of what?" Mikey asked.

"To have a solo exhibition." Leo smirked. "Before playing as a whole. I just want to see."

"Well, okay then." Mikey said. "Fine. Tim, grab a beat box there."

Timothy nodded as he grabbed a beat box and sat on it.

"Let's play… Oh! The one we practiced yesterday for fun."

"Oohh… That song." He smiled. "That's a good song to impress Leo."

Mikey flushed. "Stop it!" The drummer just laughed. The vocalist giggled along.

Leo smirked. ("Acoustic, eh?")

"One, two, three."

* * *

Come Together - The Beatles (But the version Leo used is the cover version of Wolfgang)

The one with the _ITALICS_ are Raph's flashbacks or can be called as memory triggers. I see a lot of fanfics regarding amnesia that the one who had memory loss is the one who had triggers, I made it the opposite since it adds effect because of Raph's guilt and conscience.  
The one with (" ") is usually Raph's thoughts.

Wolfgang is my favorite local band here. They had awesome cover songs besides their original ones. I'd like to imagine Leo had a unique voice, like Basti's (the vocalist, because it was said that before Basti's is not a great singer but he had a unique tone).

Also... YES, RAPH IS GETTING THERE. BEING SWEET AND ALL.


	4. With A Smile

**Note/Warning: Tcest (RxD, LxM], Rock band stuff, OOC-ness, bad language, tragic stuff, mature stuff, music will vary on degrees**

Inspired from AmorTortuga's Time To Pretend fanfic in DA!

The one with the ITALICS are Raph's flashbacks or can be called as memory triggers. I see a lot of fanfics regarding amnesia that the one who had memory loss is the one who had triggers, I made it the opposite since it adds effect because of Raph's guilt and conscience.  
The one with (" ") is usually Raph's thoughts.

* * *

Lift your head, baby, don't be scared

Of the things that could go wrong along the way

You'll get by with a smile

You can't win at everything but you can try.

* * *

Leo admits, Mikey often sang out of tune whenever he listens to tunes. But he is very different when he gets serious by it. This lover of his really had the talents. Oh, how he love him so.

* * *

In a world where everybody

Hates a happy ending story

It's a wonder love can make the world go round

* * *

The two professionals got to admit, these two really had the musician blood. Well, Mikey is a given, as they worked with him before. They were in their first band, with Mikey and Donnie, which known as "Shell Shocker".

* * *

And don't let it bring you down

And turn your face into a frown

You'll get along with a little prayer and a song.

* * *

As the vocalist is finished, Raph and Leo clapped in delight. April went up the stage after.

"Tim, still need your help." She smiled as Timothy went to the drum set.

"I think you know this one." April grinned as her slim fingers started to play that familiar lead riff. Surprisingly, the bass riff came in. Raph is impressed at the music, especially those rich, thick bass coming from a certain purple musician.

Without warning, Leo and Mikey joined along in the vocals.

* * *

In being an audience, Raph knew Mikey chose the right people for this band. Leo grabbed the mic and emphasized "He got eyes of the bluest skies" while teasing Mikey.

It's been a long time since he seen a band jamming and messing around like this. If only he turn back the time, he would really change it, especially the former relationship of Donnie and him.

The song finished and Raph just made thumbs up then clapped his hands.

"Seemed you will definitely in the front act." Leo said as the band members made a high five… Or three to Don and Mike.

"Oh my, we didn't realize it's a little late." April said as she looked at the clock. It's already past 5 PM. "But we had one last performance." She said.

"We had?" Mikey said.

"Well… One of us had an extra talent." April smirked as her eyes went to Donnie.  
"No… No, April! No!" Donnie refused as April shoved her guitar to him.

Now, this is getting interesting.

"Come on, Donnie, I know you loved to play that song." April said and left him alone in the stage. He sheepishly become nervous and embarrassed, if he had long hair, he would so hide in it.

"This song is special to me… For some reason. I really apologize if I made mistakes… A-and… It reminded me of someone… I can't remember. But I knew he was important to me…" He shyly said as he touched the neck of the guitar and started to play.

Raph knows that song. That song he played in the veranda last night.

* * *

_It was a quiet night and sweet strings of acoustic tunes are heard as Donnie really loves the music. He is pleased it hit the bassist's heart, just as planned. All part of the plan by this bet between his best friend and him._

"_R-Raphie…" Donnie muttered softly. He is flushing. Now that he remembered it, he is beautiful that night._

"_Yeah?" Raph replied, he placed the guitar down and sat beside him._

_He can see Donnie gulped and sighed._

"_Yes, Raph."_

"_Huh?" he said, being astonished._

"_I would like to be your boyfriend." He shyly said._

_Of course the usual reaction to that are happiness and an embrace. Wow, he realized he is a good actor. It was the start of Donnie's misery._

* * *

Since Donnie "died", he always played that song at night, hoping he would hear it. That song is both a sweet dream and a nightmare, as he met a happy Donnie and he made him miserable.

His tears are threatening to fall. He never cried. He didn't want to show he is vulnerable. He is a freaking rock star!

After the song, all he did is leave the studio.

* * *

When he left, a complete silence occurred.

Donnie is clearly upset by what happened. "Well, I can't blame him if my lead guitar work is horrible." He said as he took off April's guitar.

"Well, Raph had an attitude. Don't mind him." April said.

"But we never saw Raph that miserable." All eyes set to Leo when he said that. "That song is very special to him. It reminded him of someone… He loved dearly." Leo looked at Donnie, hoping he would understand him.

Donnie stood up firmly, "I'll go talk to him." He said at Leo and April, who just signal him to go ahead.

* * *

Raph stayed on the small stairs before the entrance inside. He breathed deeply and stared at the night sky. He remembered. Donnie remembered that song.

"Mind if I join you?"

His eyes blinked. That voice. Above is a shy Donatello, which had a bag of food.

"Well, it's my turn to give something."

("Donnie, you gave too much to me.")

He just patted the stair level as he looked away. He can't use the sarcastic remarks, he is too disoriented to talk and he doesn't want to make Donnie distance to him more.

"I didn't buy beer, only some sodas and buns. Is that alright to you?"

He got more overwhelmed by the flashing memories. It's getting a lot painful.

* * *

_Donnie went back, all soaked and panting from the rain._

"_I can't find any beer at this time… And I only got steamed buns… Is that alright?" he asked and put the plastic bag on the table._

_He yelped when Raph's fists hit the table in displeasure._

"_Why you can't get anything right?!" he shouted. He remembered he could see how scared Donnie is. He really wanted to beat the shell out of his former self. He treated him like a fucking servant, groupie or nothing at all. He didn't treat him as his boyfriend at all._

* * *

"Sir?" he asked with tone of concern. Raph blinked back.

"Y-Yeah… It's alright. I don't drink beer anymore." Raph grabbed a can of orange soda.

"R-Really?" Donnie said as he gets his own.

"Yeah…"

Awkward silence covered the scenery.

* * *

"Leo, I think we need to set out the mood for them." Mikey said while grinning. "We can play the song earlier."

Leo smiled as Mikey called Tim to grab the beat box and repeat the song.

* * *

Baby, you don't have to worry

'Coz there ain't no need to hurry

No one ever said that there's an easy way

* * *

"L-Look… I'm sorry I played the guitar really… Really bad." Donnie rubbed his arm automatically. Raph wondered why Donnie is apologizing for this.

Oh, shit.

"Donnie…" He spoke his name for the first time and it felt weird. "You played it great. I-It… Just reminded me of someone." He said. He can't believe he is talking his distress to someone and that someone is Don. He wouldn't even tell Leo anything about this. He is definitely disoriented and a lot worse than being drunk.

"I'm sorry… I'm not aware… I just loved that song… Especially when you played it."

This felt a knife sliced his heart. But wait… He never played it ever since he…

"I'm sorry… I just saw it in my T-Pod, you know, the bootlegged versions." Donnie tried to explain, as if not being like a stalker. When Raph didn't respond, he felt he talked too much. "I'm sorry Mr. Ra-"

"Raph… Just call me Raph." He said. "Short for Raphael Hamato."

* * *

When they're closing all their doors

And they don't want you anymore

This sounds funny but I'll say it anyway.

* * *

Donnie just blinked at him and smiled after. "I'm Donatello… Or Donnie."

He tried to stop those memories going on his head. Well, his father is right, about this karma. But he felt "better" in the definition when they are talking like this.

* * *

Lift your head, baby, don't be scared

Of the things that could go wrong along the way

You'll get by with a smile

Now it's time to kiss away those tears goodbye

* * *

They are both munching some buns when Michelangelo just screamed between them.

"Donnie! You didn't offer me some!" He wailed.

"Ah! Guys, did we take long? I'll go to-"

"Donnie, its fine. We just packed up the things since we are calling it a day. We still have practice tomorrow before the gig." April explained.

"O-Oh!" Donnie said as she gave the bass guitar to him and slung it over his shoulder.

"It was a great day, guys." Leo said. "I can tell your band will soar."

"Thanks, well, we better get going." April said. "Donnie, where will you go?"

"Uhh, right near to our meeting place. It's nearer." He said.

"I'll go with him. I left my bike there. Is that alright with you?" Raph asked. The bassist just nodded with a red shade on his cheeks.

"Are you sure, Donnie?" April said. "You can come with us if you want."

"It… It's alright, April. I'll let you know if I'm home." Donnie said.

"Leo, can we go to the convenience store before going back to the condo?" Mikey asked. Leo chuckled as he nodded. They knew the look as they bid their farewells and separated.

* * *

Leaving Raph and Donnie alone.

* * *

Now the reason why Raph is guilty is now revealed! Yes, it all started by a simple bet. The bet thing actually happened by this friend of mine. With A Smile is one of the 90s songs here in my country.  
I made April do the lead of GNR because it's so badass in my head (I always play that lead riff just for fun). It's a coincidence Mikey had light blue eyes too! I can see Leo charming him while singing that lyric.


	5. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

**Note/Warning: Tcest (RxD, LxM], Rock band stuff, OOC-ness, bad language, tragic stuff, mature stuff, music will vary on degrees**

Inspired from AmorTortuga's Time To Pretend fanfic in DA!

The one with the ITALICS are Raph's flashbacks or can be called as memory triggers. I see a lot of fanfics regarding amnesia that the one who had memory loss is the one who had triggers, I made it the opposite since it adds effect because of Raph's guilt and conscience.

The one with **BOLD** are the text messages. I'll put an indicator next chapter. But you'll probably know who are the ones texting in this one.

The one with (" ") is usually Raph's thoughts.

* * *

"Thank you for accompanying me." Donnie said. Raph just realized how cute Donnie's eyes are when they sparkle at night.

"It's no problem. Besides, my bike is there too." He answered.

"Are you alright now?" Donnie asked, still had concern with the fiasco earlier. "Are you feeling better?"

("If you meant by shock, confusion and frustration all bottled up because you're here is categorized as fine, yes it is, Donnie.")

"Y-Yeah… Thanks…" He said. "You know, you're a great bassist. I really hope I should've told that someone the same."

"Thank you… And I'm sorry to hear that…" He said with sympathy. "What does that someone looks like?"

Raph looked at him. This is awkward. He looked down after. "He is the most beautiful. His eyes… Are like jewels. He had this cute smile…" He trailed off, giving too much information. Donnie just giggled. See? Like that. That's the cute thing he is talking about.

"I can tell you're a sweet person." He shyly said."So, what you think of my band?"

Raph smiled. "I had a lot of potential, not because Mikey was there. It's because it had talented people and just enjoying making music." He explained. These past years, he didn't enjoyed making music. It had made him realized that Don was the fuel of the band before; to keep it going, despite he had issues with Raph. It caused him to have the known as "inspiration".

"Uhh… I'm not prying or anything… I thought you lived in the same house as April?" Raph asked. He got to admit, he is feeling a little jealous about it and angry for being lied as well.

"Well, she is my guardian but that doesn't mean I have to be dependent." He giggled. "I want to have freedom."

Raph just nodded. He never gave Don freedom before, might as well let him be now.

It got a little quiet after a few steps.

"You knew about my memory loss right?" He said, stopping from his tracks. It made Raph stopped as well.

"Yeah, she told me." Raph said.

"It's alright. Just please don't treat me like a clueless person. I do know some things in what I'm doing." He chuckled. For some reason, Raph felt… A little scared and pity to him.

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He said sheepishly. "I do not know about my past. I'm alright to it, really. Yeah, I'm a little curious but it won't affect my actions here in the present."

("Believe me, if you knew, you will kill me.")

"I'm glad I'm walking with the famous guitarist. I'm a little star struck and I'm sorry…" He giggled softly.

The past Donatello was like this before. His responses before had made Donnie more withdrawn to him.

"I appreciate that. But…" Raph gulped. "Can we be something else like friends? We do know this won't be the last gig that you're going to be front act on to us…" He could tell Donnie is really surprised and he got more adorable.

"Yes." He smiled sweetly. "I would love to!"

Raphael only smiled. They finally saw his bike now in view.

"I had a great time today." Donnie said. "And thank you very much." Donnie said as he bowed. Raph knew this is always his habit.

Raph got on his bike. "Me too." He said. "Well, I can get you home with my bike." He offered.

"Uhh… No, thank you." Don looked away. "I had fear with motorcycles. I'm sorry and I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just uncomfortable."

Raph just look down. He knew the reason why he is scared of it. Even he took months before he bought a new bike, he drove his car during that period. That accident is why they are here today, of why Donnie lost his memories. He knew the damage that has been done was very great. He didn't know how to get it back to normal.

"Alright. I'll just wait for your taxi." He said. Donnie just nodded.

"I really don't know why I got a sudden dislike to riding motorcycles. All April told me is I had an accident connecting to that."

Considering that April said Donnie didn't remember a thing, Raph knew Don had the right to be aware of what happened or what state he is now. He rarely says this but April saved his butt as she didn't tell Don his role to him before.

"Oh, here's my ride." Don said as a taxi stopped in front of them.

"Bye, I'll see you next time." Donnie said, smiling before getting in.

Raph smiled back and he drove off.

* * *

For some reason, he had this protective streak to Donnie now. His body moved on his own, Raph put his helmet on and followed the vehicle.

This can be a purpose to know where Don lived. His bike moved in a slower speed as he intended, for Don not to be aware that he is following him.

Raph is glad Donnie went home safely. He never did this to Don before except for stalking when he needs to gain something. Donnie opened the door to his small house. He is surprised that it's a neat house, probably his own. He put this memory to his brain. Before, Don lived in an apartment. When they got together, Don lived in Raph's house. He still has Don's room there with all of his things still intact. Sometimes, he goes there to feel Donnie's "presence".

He smiled when Donnie is inside the house and he drives off.

He decided that he will use this second chance and make Donnie the happiest nerd.

* * *

Raph's phone is blaring loud when he reached his house. It was revealed to be only a text message. Leo and him have a rule to keep their phones' ringtone setting high for emergency or business meetings but it sure it's annoying. He picked it up from his pocket.

It's from an unknown number.

**This is April. Donnie said he saw you following his cab until he gets home. I see you learned. Here is Donnie's number.**

Raph sees the name card of Donnie with his number.

He got Donnie's number! Without asking!

He removed the keys from his bike. He saved Donnie's number quickly in his phone.

His stomach is growling. That burger just shoots from his stomach faster than he thought.

He wanted to text Donnie yet he didn't know a decent welcome. Then again, why is he thinking simple stuff like this?! He is acting like a freaking school girl.

**Hey, Raph here. April gave me your number.**

* * *

("Yeah, nice move for giving the worst message ever.")

* * *

**Oh, hi Raph! Thank you earlier. You're really nice.**

* * *

**No problem. You ate dinner?**

* * *

He is blushing at the words "You're really nice". This vow thing is surely working.

But he felt like an idiot when he asked if Donnie ate.

* * *

**Some steak with mushroom sauce. Mikey cooked it because he planned a sleepover tonight. What about you?**

* * *

**Well, that's good. Me? Well, I'm trying to find food here.**

* * *

**The only I could do is some basic cooking to teach you. Sorry.**

* * *

He chuckled. They continued texting, even while cooking and eating. Raph went to bed after a warm shower.

* * *

**Sorry, took a shower. **

* * *

**It's okay. I'm surprised you're so nice. I heard some things from the fandom that you're rude and ruthless.**

* * *

**Well, I still am… Wait, I had a fandom?**

* * *

**Yup… I was one of the senior ones there… And yeah… But they noticed now you got mellowed and quiet. Is it true you humiliated someone before?**

* * *

_It was one of their gigs where Donnie is now their official bassist. They had an argument before that gig. He remembered it's about April being nosy. Well, he wants to slap himself since he now knew April was his guardian that time._

_After the performance, he saw Donnie waving at April and she does the same. He felt extreme anger and jealousy. Donnie still had the use of him and he won't let a best friend interfere to it._

"_YOU ARE THE WORST BASSIST EVER!"_

_He saw Donnie remained passive and on verge to tears. He got humiliated in their freaking concert. It was a shock to Raph's system to say that._

"_Come on, Donnie! I'm sorry! Just forgive me!" Raph plead. He was catching up the bassist._

"_Leave me alone. Please." He said._

* * *

**Yeah, it's true. I regretted it. He is special to me and I knew I shouldn't say that.**

* * *

**They never name drop anyone about that. So I don't know much. I'm sorry I asked you questions.**

* * *

Raph is amused that Donnie is still one of his fans. He still admired him. But he doesn't want it in the same path. This will be different as Raph is the one that should be admiring him.

* * *

**It's okay. Let's hang out tomorrow in some place after your practice.**

* * *

**I want to go to this place. But… I think it's not your thing.**

* * *

**Hey, I don't mind. I go wherever you want.**

* * *

**Okay, tomorrow noon at the same studio. Thank you. I really apologize. I'm really a big fan.**

* * *

Raph closed his eyes. The last sentence Donnie said, he used that as an advantage two years ago.

* * *

"_I want my gear to be set up and inside the trunk. Understand?"_

"_Of course these lovely ladies can go on my lap. So stop being fussed about it, Donnie boy."_

"_I'm sick, so I can't pick you up there. Take a fucking cab or something!"_

"_Like the media said, it's "rumored". Why you're so hyped to this showbiz bullshit? I own you, remember?"_

"_If you didn't show up, I'm going to break up with you."_

* * *

Tiny tears fell from his apple green eyes. He screwed up. He fucking screwed it up! He didn't just hurt Donnie. He lived in hell. He can't stand when he had said before yet he felt wrong in many levels when he heard his past self saying that.

* * *

**No, Donnie. I think I'm your big fan.**

* * *

**Uhm… Excuse me?**

* * *

**I admire your playing and you're adorable.**

* * *

Raphael smacked himself. He really sounded creepy and desperate. He completely ruined it. He started to type…

**Look, I didn't mean it that way**

He received a message.

**Thank you, Raph.**

* * *

The red musician smiled warmly. It's slowly mending but it's alright.

For the first time, he didn't play the song in the veranda.

* * *

Chapter 5: Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen

Woo! Go Raphie! You got Don's number! Also, you had a hang out with him! It's so a DATE Well in the music video the girl gets on the bike. Apparently, it will not happen to Donnie yet. Also, more memories reveals on how jerk Raph was.

YES RAPHIE, YOU HAD A FANDOM.


End file.
